I have made a startling discovery.
About the invention that we call - the toaster.
For those of you incompetent people, a toaster is that gadget you use in order to turn soft, delicious bread into crunchy toast for a tasty snack.
And I have unlocked it's secret.
Some of you may wonder - what secret? It's a toaster.
Tha may be so, but you have not undergone the joy and stupendous emotions I have once uncoverng it's secret.
The secret of the toaster is...
The NUMBERS do not indicate the INTENSITY OF HEAT being put onto the toast. They indicate the AMOUNT OF MINUTES the toaster will cook the toast for.
Isn't that amazing? I never knew that.
Now that I have unlocked the secret of the toaster, my toast shall never be burnt again.
...As long as I time it right.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
...goddamit
Well I just got back from what can only be described as a shopping 'expedition' with my mother and her mother, who is, coincidentally, my grandmother.
Anyway, we went into Clark Rubber for some reason, my mum wanted a really long roll of rubber to stop wind blowing through our garage (don't ask), so we trekked in there and she approached a guy who happens to be one of Tim's friends.
Here's what happened.
Nanna trots off to look at some pool thing, despite the obvious discrepancy that she does not in fact have a pool in her house, nor does she ever visit places with pools. But w/e.
Mum: Hello (name). Do you have any long pieces of rubber?
Guy: Yeah, we have quite a lot of rubbers. (Hence the name. He didn't acually say that, but I mean please. What else would they have there?)
Mum: (Gives measurements, then trots off to find my grandmother who has wandered off and we can no longer find her. She always does that, we need a tracking device when we take her shopping.)
Guy: Where's Tim?
Me: Home. Sleeping, probably.
Guy: Looks like you need a lot of rubber.
Me: Well, in this day and age everyone is in need of rubbers.
Guy: What are you planning to do with this rubber?
Me: Well, my original plan was to have good times with it. But I think mum wants to put it in the garage.
Guy: What a waste of rubbers.
Nanna saunters back, oblivious that my mother has been looking for her for about 5 minutes.)
Nanna: What are you talking about?
Guy: Practical uses of rubbers in the 21st century.
Nanna has puzzled expression.
Nanne: That's.. nice. Jane, go find your mother, she's gone off again. I swear I don't know who she gets it from.
(I am not joking. She is the most oblivious person I have ever met. Not to mention naive. You'd think she'd get the rubbers-condom reference seeing as she watches a lot of TV in her house. But I guess not).
I go off to find my mother, idiotically leaving the guy and my nanna to talk.
I find my mother, and bring her back to my nanna and the guy who are now at the till who are talking rather too enthusiastically.)
Nanna: ...I don't think she'd mind. You should ask her!
(Horrible, HORRIBLE realisation of what my nanna has done goes through my head as guy makes smoochy references)
Mum: Ask who what mum?
Nanna: I was just saying (name) should ask Jane to....
Guy: Whether she wanted a bag. (Indicates with more smoochy signals behind my mum and nanna's backs as she talks to my mother in whispered tones)
Me: No, no, no bag. We'll be going now.
I grab my mother and her mother, plus the insanely heavy rubber and leave. Guy winks. We drive off. I have an embolism.
And people say shopping is fun and an easy task =.="
I just hope to GOD he doesn't tell my brother or ANYONE ON THE PLANET about this, b/c I doubt he'll be as nice as I have been to censor my name.
Which reminds me,. Clark Rubber should really invent their own condom brand.
Anyway, we went into Clark Rubber for some reason, my mum wanted a really long roll of rubber to stop wind blowing through our garage (don't ask), so we trekked in there and she approached a guy who happens to be one of Tim's friends.
Here's what happened.
Nanna trots off to look at some pool thing, despite the obvious discrepancy that she does not in fact have a pool in her house, nor does she ever visit places with pools. But w/e.
Mum: Hello (name). Do you have any long pieces of rubber?
Guy: Yeah, we have quite a lot of rubbers. (Hence the name. He didn't acually say that, but I mean please. What else would they have there?)
Mum: (Gives measurements, then trots off to find my grandmother who has wandered off and we can no longer find her. She always does that, we need a tracking device when we take her shopping.)
Guy: Where's Tim?
Me: Home. Sleeping, probably.
Guy: Looks like you need a lot of rubber.
Me: Well, in this day and age everyone is in need of rubbers.
Guy: What are you planning to do with this rubber?
Me: Well, my original plan was to have good times with it. But I think mum wants to put it in the garage.
Guy: What a waste of rubbers.
Nanna saunters back, oblivious that my mother has been looking for her for about 5 minutes.)
Nanna: What are you talking about?
Guy: Practical uses of rubbers in the 21st century.
Nanna has puzzled expression.
Nanne: That's.. nice. Jane, go find your mother, she's gone off again. I swear I don't know who she gets it from.
(I am not joking. She is the most oblivious person I have ever met. Not to mention naive. You'd think she'd get the rubbers-condom reference seeing as she watches a lot of TV in her house. But I guess not).
I go off to find my mother, idiotically leaving the guy and my nanna to talk.
I find my mother, and bring her back to my nanna and the guy who are now at the till who are talking rather too enthusiastically.)
Nanna: ...I don't think she'd mind. You should ask her!
(Horrible, HORRIBLE realisation of what my nanna has done goes through my head as guy makes smoochy references)
Mum: Ask who what mum?
Nanna: I was just saying (name) should ask Jane to....
Guy: Whether she wanted a bag. (Indicates with more smoochy signals behind my mum and nanna's backs as she talks to my mother in whispered tones)
Me: No, no, no bag. We'll be going now.
I grab my mother and her mother, plus the insanely heavy rubber and leave. Guy winks. We drive off. I have an embolism.
And people say shopping is fun and an easy task =.="
I just hope to GOD he doesn't tell my brother or ANYONE ON THE PLANET about this, b/c I doubt he'll be as nice as I have been to censor my name.
Which reminds me,. Clark Rubber should really invent their own condom brand.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
random convo with jan which also tells u about my day :P
Jan says:
hi hi XD
janee, says:
jan!
GUESS WHAT!!!
Jan says:
what?
janee, says:
i i i
got to rearrange the furniture inmy room, so now its got twice as much opace
and and and
Jan says:
oh yay lol
janee, says:
this person came in to clean our floors
Jan says:
hm?
janee, says:
and he brought his 15 yr old son
Jan says:
...
janee, says:
(who, btw, was h-a-w-t)
Jan says:
i knew it
janee, says:
but i had to pick up the shoes off my floor
and with allt he amount of shoes i had
they fil;led up 2 whole garbage bags *sheepish grin*
Jan says:
...
janee, says:
so i got to watch the relli hot guy carry my shoes places, and at noon it got relli hot so he took his shirt off
Jan says:
=.=
janee, says:
i swear i was meant to b a snob, its fun having ppl wait on you
Jan says:
=.=
janee, says:
so in conclusion i had a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c day, as u can clearly see
hi hi XD
janee, says:
jan!
GUESS WHAT!!!
Jan says:
what?
janee, says:
i i i
got to rearrange the furniture inmy room, so now its got twice as much opace
and and and
Jan says:
oh yay lol
janee, says:
this person came in to clean our floors
Jan says:
hm?
janee, says:
and he brought his 15 yr old son
Jan says:
...
janee, says:
(who, btw, was h-a-w-t)
Jan says:
i knew it
janee, says:
but i had to pick up the shoes off my floor
and with allt he amount of shoes i had
they fil;led up 2 whole garbage bags *sheepish grin*
Jan says:
...
janee, says:
so i got to watch the relli hot guy carry my shoes places, and at noon it got relli hot so he took his shirt off
Jan says:
=.=
janee, says:
i swear i was meant to b a snob, its fun having ppl wait on you
Jan says:
=.=
janee, says:
so in conclusion i had a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c day, as u can clearly see
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I'M BACK BABY
Well I've been officially back from Horrock for... 3-ish days :)
Although I ahd no one to talk to apart from my amily ~shudders ;)~ it wasn't all that bad :D
Especially when we rented this speed boat in Kalbarri and my cousins boyfriend was being cocky trying to show how he was the best, and we ended up getting bogged in the middle of the ocean. We couldn't help for about 10 minutes b/c we were laughing @ him too much :P
I think we scared him away from ever wanting to be part of our family :)
Can't say I blame him.
I'm in a good mood b/c I just earnt $250 in about an hour in an air-conditioned room pressing buttons and using the computer. Mainly b/c my neighbour is technologically disabled and can barely turn her pc on, I installed MSN, frostwire and all this other not entirely legal software onto her computer plus installed a printer/scanner/photocopier. Hence, we need to go shopping.
And see the Toy Story movies in 3-D. I forgot how cool those movies were until I saw the promo :) They should do a 3-D screening on the Lion King 1 + 2. Not 3. The 3rd LK movie sucks arse.
That's all for now:)
Bye byeeee ;)
Although I ahd no one to talk to apart from my amily ~shudders ;)~ it wasn't all that bad :D
Especially when we rented this speed boat in Kalbarri and my cousins boyfriend was being cocky trying to show how he was the best, and we ended up getting bogged in the middle of the ocean. We couldn't help for about 10 minutes b/c we were laughing @ him too much :P
I think we scared him away from ever wanting to be part of our family :)
Can't say I blame him.
I'm in a good mood b/c I just earnt $250 in about an hour in an air-conditioned room pressing buttons and using the computer. Mainly b/c my neighbour is technologically disabled and can barely turn her pc on, I installed MSN, frostwire and all this other not entirely legal software onto her computer plus installed a printer/scanner/photocopier. Hence, we need to go shopping.
And see the Toy Story movies in 3-D. I forgot how cool those movies were until I saw the promo :) They should do a 3-D screening on the Lion King 1 + 2. Not 3. The 3rd LK movie sucks arse.
That's all for now:)
Bye byeeee ;)
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