...goddamit

Well I just got back from what can only be described as a shopping 'expedition' with my mother and her mother, who is, coincidentally, my grandmother.

Anyway, we went into Clark Rubber for some reason, my mum wanted a really long roll of rubber to stop wind blowing through our garage (don't ask), so we trekked in there and she approached a guy who happens to be one of Tim's friends.

Here's what happened.

Nanna trots off to look at some pool thing, despite the obvious discrepancy that she does not in fact have a pool in her house, nor does she ever visit places with pools. But w/e.

Mum: Hello (name). Do you have any long pieces of rubber?
Guy: Yeah, we have quite a lot of rubbers. (Hence the name. He didn't acually say that, but I mean please. What else would they have there?)
Mum: (Gives measurements, then trots off to find my grandmother who has wandered off and we can no longer find her. She always does that, we need a tracking device when we take her shopping.)
Guy: Where's Tim?
Me: Home. Sleeping, probably.
Guy: Looks like you need a lot of rubber.
Me: Well, in this day and age everyone is in need of rubbers.
Guy: What are you planning to do with this rubber?
Me: Well, my original plan was to have good times with it. But I think mum wants to put it in the garage.
Guy: What a waste of rubbers.

Nanna saunters back, oblivious that my mother has been looking for her for about 5 minutes.)

Nanna: What are you talking about?
Guy: Practical uses of rubbers in the 21st century.
Nanna has puzzled expression.
Nanne: That's.. nice. Jane, go find your mother, she's gone off again. I swear I don't know who she gets it from.
(I am not joking. She is the most oblivious person I have ever met. Not to mention naive. You'd think she'd get the rubbers-condom reference seeing as she watches a lot of TV in her house. But I guess not).

I go off to find my mother, idiotically leaving the guy and my nanna to talk.
I find my mother, and bring her back to my nanna and the guy who are now at the till who are talking rather too enthusiastically.)

Nanna: ...I don't think she'd mind. You should ask her!
(Horrible, HORRIBLE realisation of what my nanna has done goes through my head as guy makes smoochy references)
Mum: Ask who what mum?
Nanna: I was just saying (name) should ask Jane to....
Guy: Whether she wanted a bag. (Indicates with more smoochy signals behind my mum and nanna's backs as she talks to my mother in whispered tones)
Me: No, no, no bag. We'll be going now.
I grab my mother and her mother, plus the insanely heavy rubber and leave. Guy winks. We drive off. I have an embolism.


And people say shopping is fun and an easy task =.="
I just hope to GOD he doesn't tell my brother or ANYONE ON THE PLANET about this, b/c I doubt he'll be as nice as I have been to censor my name.

Which reminds me,. Clark Rubber should really invent their own condom brand.